Hong Kong | How lawyers and counsellors can make divorce less stressful for couples?

When a marriage ends, both partners may experience pain. Divorce is an incredibly challenging and stressful experience for all parties involved. It is a period of immense emotional turmoil, convoluted legal procedures, and financial strain that can take a significant toll on one's well-being.

A couple going through divorce may decide to start therapy as a way to cope with this traumatic and difficult phase in their lives. Whether the client has initiated the divorce or was not ready to separate, divorce can be mentally and emotionally challenging. Nevertheless, with the assistance of experienced family lawyers and counsellors, couples can navigate this taxing process with less stress and more confidence.

Role of Family Lawyers

Providing a clear outline of the case strategy and next steps

Divorce proceedings are complex. Various procedures are involved, from the first appointment to maintenance pending suit, ancillary relief, children appointment, custody, and more. The legal jargons and procedures involved can be overwhelming, and filling out court forms like the notorious Form E (i.e. financial statement) and bundling voluminous documents such as bank statements and company records can be a daunting task. 

However, family lawyers can provide a clear outline of the case strategy and next steps, helping clients comprehend the process and what to expect in the coming months. By ensuring that spouses have all the necessary documentation and that everything is correctly filled out and submitted on time, family lawyers save the spouses time and hassle, allowing them to focus on other aspects of their lives during this difficult period.

Protecting spouses' best interests 

Spouses going through a divorce have a lot to say about their relationship, but they often struggle to articulate their thoughts in court. Divorce proceedings such as ancillary relief and child custody typically involve a lot of disputes on facts and necessitate the parties to tell their marriage and future plans in a highly organized manner. Family lawyers can help spouses present their case in a way that is compelling and clear to the court, ensuring that the judge has all the necessary information to make a fair decision.

Moreover, the final order for divorce does not necessarily mean an end to the turmoil. Even if the court rules in favour of one spouse, the other may not always adhere to the court order. Lawyers can assist with the enforcement of court rulings, ensuring that their clients receive what they are entitled to. In the event that the other spouse refuses to make payment or removes the children from Hong Kong in breach of the court orders, solicitors can take immediate actions to enforce the court orders.  

Providing an objective perspective

Family lawyers also provide an objective perspective, which is critical during the divorce process. Spouses can become emotional, and their judgment may be clouded by their feelings. They may see their ex-partners with anger and resentment and feel that the other side should not be entitled to anything. Family lawyers can provide a more objective perspective, helping spouses make more realistic demands when it comes to mediation with their ex-spouses. This can help spouses reach a settlement more easily and make the process less stressful for everyone involved.

Helping spouses stay focused on the future

Divorce can be a time when people cling too much to the past. Family lawyers can help guide spouses to ask the right questions. Instead of ruminating on the failed relationship, spouses are encouraged to plan for the future, such as what they will do with their children and what kind of life they want to lead after the divorce. Lawyers can assist their clients in setting their monthly spending and how much time they want to spend with their children. This can help spouses move forward and have a more positive outlook on their future after the divorce.

Role of Counsellors

Making the process less stressful

Expressing positive emotions in a healthy way and managing expectations  

Divorce can be a traumatic experience, and it is important for couples to have a safe space to express their feelings and work through their emotions. Counsellors can provide this space, and help couples develop strategies for managing stress and anxiety. The couple can choose to go through individual therapy to help manage their expectations during a divorce. This can include helping them to understand the legal implications of a divorce or separation, and to develop realistic expectations about the process and its outcomes. By managing expectations, individuals can reduce stress and uncertainty, and can focus their energy on moving forward in a positive way. It teaches them to better understand the breakdown of the marriage and also helps them understand themselves better, their needs and wants, helping them rediscover themselves through personal growth and development.

Counsellors can also provide support to children who are affected by divorce. Divorce can be an especially challenging experience for children, and a counsellor can help them to work through their feelings and emotions, and to develop coping strategies to deal with the changes in their family dynamic.

The power of effective communication  

Another way in which counsellors can make divorce less stressful is by helping individuals to communicate effectively. Communication is often a major challenge during a divorce, as tensions may be high and conflicts may arise easily. A counsellor can teach individuals how to communicate effectively and can mediate conversations to manage conflicts and help everyone involved to reach agreement.

Conclusion

Divorce is a journey of self-discovery, an opportunity to reflect on the past and plan for the future. It is a time when individuals can redefine themselves, their values, and their aspirations. However, divorce can also be a time of immense loneliness and isolation. The proceedings are complex and emotionally charged, making it one of the most stressful experiences. Nevertheless, with the help of lawyers and counsellors, spouses can navigate this trying process more efficiently and alleviate some of the stress associated with divorce proceedings. 

By seeking professional support, spouses can move forward with a positive outlook on their future after the divorce.